John Key’s Bogus Adventure

Mr Key is now on the third day of a ‘nine day whistle-stop tour of 40 towns’.  The last we heard of him was a Press report on his conversation with 95 year old Ray Sheat on Wednesday.

Sheat told Key there were some bad boys in Parliament who need sorting out.  Key agreed and said he ‘had a few in his sights’ but, in calssic Key style, failed to say what that meant in practice.

Sheat’s impression of the man who would be our PM?  - “he was a younger joker than I thought”

Since then we’ve seen neither hide nor hair of the smiling assassin.  Nothing newsworthy is happening on this heavily-billed tour, which tells us two things.

1) if this is meant to be a practice run for the election campaign its a dangerously false one.  In the real campaign the media will be in his face every day demanding answers to uncomfortable questions.  That’s a bit harder than having a chat with Mr Sheat.

2) It seems that, for all his ambition, Mr Key is not exactly sweeping small-town New Zealand off its feet.

$50,000 and more down the hole on a boring DVD.  Probably $10,000 more on transporting Mr Key and attendents around New Zealand for a week and a half.  The bill for National’s secret backers is sure staking up.  But, then, National getting elected and delivering them the policies they’ve paid for, that would be priceless.

Libertarianz Sucking Up To The ‘Kiwiblog Right’

Lickspittle. I don’t like the word, it doesn’t have a nice sound to it and the connotations are both too visceral and viscous. Given the ease with which it can be contemptuously spat out and the hint of sexual perversion in the combination of words, its not surprising that ‘lickpsittle’ is a favourite of the so-called ‘kiwiblog right’.

But I was surprised to read see a Libertarianz press release entitled: ‘Helen Clark: Lickspittle To Saudi Sadists’. I was intrigued and had a read.

It’s a strange press release, even by the Libertarianz standards, and they are maestros of the strange press release. Helen Clark is accused of “open admiration for the backward Saudi justice system that has condemned a female rape victim to flogging and imprisonment” because she expresses “mere ‘dismay’” over the sentence, and the feminist movement is condemned for tacitly supporting the PM by not opposing her. They also get in a little dig about outlawing smacking kids here but standing by when women are stoned overseas. Nice.

The Libz are responding to a nine-day old Clark press release that criticises, in diplomatic terms, the handling of this case by the Saudi authorities and pleads for compassion to be shown. I’m not sure quite what more the Libz want from her, maybe if she led a column of tanks into Riyadh at dawn they would be placated? But what is clear is that there is very little Saudi spittle being licked, and the Libertarianz do themselves no favours by using such childish terms.

Homocracy and The Great Jewish Banker Conspiracy

A recent moment in the sun for me:

I met a pretty repulsive guy at a social function a couple of days ago. He was ranting about the ‘dykocracy’ that runs New Zealand. He made all the usual nasty little points about how you had to be “a gay” to get on in Clark’s government. You know he was like an offline D4J (he wasn’t by the way - I actually checked).

Initially I tried to remonstrate with him - but finally gave up and sat back and observed with mild bemusement as I listened to this guy’s uninspired bigotry.

Unchecked, he warmed to his theme and said Clark’s form of ‘homocracy’ (which later I thought was a pretty clever neologism - although I doubt it was this fellow’s making) was just a front organisation for the…you guessed it…”international Zionist banking cabal”.

I kid you not! If these were not his exact words they’re pretty darned close. Here we are in the 21st century and this guy sounds like he’s reading the Protocols of the Elder’s of Zion on his dunny at night.

He crescendoed with a bold statement about how he only ever voted National because it is the only party in New Zealand that will keep the Zionists at bay. I think the young woman he was attempting to woo wasn’t bothered by his idiocy and genuinely seemed to be accepting what he was saying on face value.

I had enough. I walked over to guy and asked him loudly, “do you really think National will keep Jewish Bankers at bay?”. Of course, he assured me and anyone else listening that this would most assuredly be the case. Apparently everyone but me knew the jewish banking fraternity only ever supported the Left. Silly me. So, I say to the guy, “…given John Key is both a former international banker and apparently of Jewish ancestry on his mother’s side - doesn’t that kind of make him an International Jewish Banker?”

The idiot went into expletive filled paroxysms of denial and dismissal. Apparently, I would only besmirch the honourable John Key’s reputation in this way if I was an apologist for the Jewish lobby. He then challenged my sexuality and my citizenship.

OK, this guy was probably a little drunk and a little bit of an embarrassing joke for his pained workmates. But it got me thinking that one of the biggest problems National has is that no matter how many $64 a second slick videos it produce s of John Key or policies they announce - as sophisticated as they get - they have these kinds of fruitcakes walking around saying this kind of stuff in public. If you were wavering in your vote that night, I am convinced this man’s ugly thoughts would have turned you off his political party of choice. I refuse to accept that I just so happened to run into one of the ugliest bigots supporting the National Party. I suspect this is a regular phenomenon around the country. If you doubt this, just check out one of the General Debates on Kiwiblog. You get to see some true colours flying there.

New Liberal leadership and Labor cabinet

Dr Brendan Nelson and Julie Bishop the new leadership team for the Liberal Party. Not the result I’d picked. It was close with Nelson gathering only two more votes than Turnbull. He’s a compromise candidate, possibly even an interim one. Cossie announced the result, Howard didn’t attend the meeting.

Update: Nelson’s said that the Libs won’t oppose the ratification of the Kyoto protocol but that changes to WorkChoices will not be automatically agreed. Also, Nelson’s appointed Turnbull shadow Treasurer - good appointment, will it keep him happy (recalling the adage about ‘friends close and your enemies closer’)?

Rudd’s announced his cabinet. It’s largely the same as the shadow cabinet. There are a number of interesting appointments including Gillard as Minister of Education, IR and Deputy PM (A workload that would make Bill Birch proud) as well as the apparent demotion of Peter Garrett.

When All You’ve Got Is A Hammer

Everything problem looks like a nail.

And when, like David Farrar, all you’ve got is a dog-whistle, you can’t resist any chance to blow it and appeal to the racists, misoygnists, and bigots who make up your loyal readership.

Farrar’s post on refugee numbers seems pretty innocent at first, even classically liberal (as he purports to be).  Hell, he “generally support[s] an increase in our refugee quota.  But look at the caveats that follow, particularly the second one:

“We should use some common sense in accepting refugees, who are most likely to do well in NZ”

‘Common sense’ sounds good.  The angle’s a little negative and judgemental but innocent stuff, right?

Wrong.  Look at the comment thread.  Farrar blows his whistle and the dogs howl in reply. 

John Key’s Brain Drain Dribble

Following on from my old pal Zoster’s Porkies at 1:30 post, I thought I would do a post on an interesting number I saw the other day when do that graph on household incomes in New Zealand relative to those in Australia . 

I noticed the Aussie census said the number of New Zealand-born people in Australia had risen by 33,698 between 2006 and 2001.  That didn’t seem to fit with John Key’s claim that 35,000 New Zealanders are leaving these shores for trans-Tasman shores every year.  So, I dug a little more and found this:

So, the increase in New Zealanders living in Australia was higher in both numerical terms and percentage terms between 1996 and 2001 than 2001 and 2006 (64,377, 22% increase 1996-2001 vs 33,698, 9% increase 2001-2006).

There has been no surge in people going over to Australia and staying in recent years:  

-The bulk of New Zealand-born people still living in Australia in 2006 had arrived there before 1991.   

-The number of people still living in Australia in 2006 who arrived in the six years 2001-2006 averaged 13,697. 

-The number who arrived in the five years 1996-2000 and were still living in Australia in 2006 averaged 13,257 . 

Once population growth, and the likelihood of death or further migration over time, is accounted for, the percentage of New Zealanders going to Australia and staying each year has actually fallen significantly since Labour took power.

So Mr Key, National delivers worse growth than Labour, worse wage increases than Labour, higher unemployment and benefit numbers than Labour, higher crime than Labour, and now we see that a higher percentage of the population was heading over to Australia last time you guys were in power. 

In your DVD, you say that, in the end, the choice of whether to support your ambitions for New Zealand is up to me.  Well, Mr Key, based on your party’s record, you can count me out.

Lennonism

I had to laugh - I recently over-heard this:

“Do you think John Key’s the best political leader New Zealand has currently?”

To which the reply was, “Heck! He’s not even the best political leader in the National Party!”.

I know, it’s a straight take from John Lennon’s famous put-down of Ringo.  But the gag was delivered with such aplomb you could only be impressed.

Porkies at 1:30

DPF is positively giddy about John Key’s dirge of a video that has been put up as a YouTube film. I watched the whole stultefying 13 minutes and worked out its only saving grace is Key’s candid admission that he doesn’t mind being a loser as long as he’s trying. Good on ya’ Johnny. I have to admit to thinking: Well, he’s very trying - so that might make him a really big loser next year!

Anyhoo, talking of movies: If you’re a fan of war movies you would’ve heard the saying, ‘bogeys on your six o’clock” (enemy fighters directly behind you). That phrase popped into my mind while watching the YouTube Key-a-thon -except the phrase that came out was, Porkies at a Minute Thirty.

This thought emerged at around a minute thirty into the video when Key attempts to mislead his hapless viewers into believing New Zealand is suffering a massive talent drain (presumably because of the lack of meaningful tax cuts).

To emphasise his mendacious point, Key rather dramatically stands in the centre of an empty Westpac Stadium (my partner in crime just leaned over and asked whether this was footage of Key attending one of Farrar’s anti-EFB protests - it took me a minute to get the joke). Anyway, Key points out more kiwis leave New Zealand to live in Australia every year than could be seated in the stadium with its capacious 35,000+ seating. Wow, that’s a lot. If you’re quick with math, you’d be worried that, at this rate of loss, New Zealand will have poured its entire population over the Tasman in just over a century. Say what?!

Of course, it’s nonsense. Key’s language is clever. Oh, it’s true more than 35,000 people left New Zealand to live in Australia - but what Key ‘neglects’ to tell you is that about a third that number made the return flight back across the Tasman every year and, on top of that, immigration from other countries has far exceeded our total outgoing migration. In fact, in the year to September 2007, the net gain to New Zealand was about 8,300. Last year, it was about 13,000.

That’s thousands of additional ‘brains’ entering New Zealand every year. So, far from a brain drain, migration is producing a ‘brain gain’ for New Zealand - and for any bigots out there suffering racial jaundice, while this year saw the biggest gain from Asia - last year most of the gain was from Europe (+14,500).

Farrar’s mates in the research unit aren’t dumb. They’ve scripted the piece to sound like there’s a panicked flight out of New Zealand. The objective is to create public concern about a non-existent issue.  It’s the political equivalence of the Home Shopping Network spruikers who try to convince you that your life is barren without their inane and useless product.
HQ’s choice of Australia to highlight the “brain drain” is also poorly made. According to the official stats, about half of the Kiwis packing off to live in countries other than Australia are classified as being of the highest skill level with the balance made up of an even split of the lower skill levels. But the opposite is true in our emmigration to Australia. Almost half of the migrants going to live in Australia on a permanent long-term basis are from the lowest skill level while the balance is evenly split between the highest skill levels.

This is just like Key’s crap-arse analysis of crime in New Zealand. He knows what we know - that crime is not particularly out of control. But he twists and turns on the facts and uses half-truths to cynically scare the public.

I’d like to think that, as these half-truths get exposed, Key’s credibility will go down the gurgler. While it’s clear the public were initially enamoured with Key’s “freshness”, as he’s revealed to be a cynical manipulator of facts, I think electors will go off him rapidly.

Are Tasers Torture?

Davey asks whether Tasers are torture.  It might be a rhetorical question - nevertheless, I am not sure what the answer is supposed to be.  But I do know watching Key’s latest video is 13 minutes and $64 a second of pretty gruelling punishment.

Free Speech, For The Rich

The Sprout just gave us a link for this new image of David Farrar’s anti-EFB rally. http://www.nzcartoons.co.nz/cartoonist1.php?nist_id=8

Pretty much sums it up.