Strike One for Tory Boy

Since he was unaccountably elected London Mayor last week, we’ve all been waiting with baited breath to see what ‘Nice but dim’ Boris Johnson’s first piece of legislation would be…

Surely it would be something emblematic of his own personal philosophy of life, and indeed, of the wider Conservative Party’s political ethos - a ringing endorsement of individual rights, personal freedom, and therefore a sound rejection of this ‘Nanny State’ mentality that has reputedly been besetting us all since Labour took power.

Oh. Shit.

He’s only gone and stopped me having a beer on Tubes and buses.

Brilliant. I knew these next four years were going to be embarrassing. But I didn’t know it would all start within a week.